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-   -   My favorite son. (http://www.xs11.com/forum/showthread.php?t=46308)

Cobia 02-07-2017 11:35 PM

My favorite son.
 
I know it's hard to say but it's the truth, you love some blood more than others. I lost my favorite son at 12:05 on Labor Day, Sept 5th 2016. I can hardly type through my tears... sorry.
I haven't shared this because I don't want all the heart felt sympathy you will offer to remind me of him. It hurts too much to do so. But you've always been here for me and I feel a need to share it with my XS friends.
It was a motorcycle accident where he took a buddy's new bike for a spin up the road at midnight and the road just ran out before he knew it. He was doing about 50 when the road ended and he slammed into a fence and a tree. Thank God his end was instantaneous and he didn't suffer, according to my conversation with the medical examiner.
Jan 20th would have been his 19th birthday and needless to say, it has been a very rough couple of days for me. And if that wasn't enough, the very next day I get his autopsy letter from the ME with luxury of detail.
No parent should ever have to bury one of their children, ever.

The reason I'm sharing this here and now is because he was a fellow rider. When ever we rode together I could see his smile and wide grin thorough the helmet, he loved riding. He died doing what he loved. I'm just so sorry we didn't get to share more miles together.
This time has been very, very tough for me. I miss him so much.

Cobia 02-07-2017 11:49 PM

A real XS lover
 
He loved my G so much that I bought an '80 Special that i was going to give him for his birthday. But he never made it that far...

Cobia 02-07-2017 11:57 PM

All I can tell you is to love your kids with all your heart every moment you can because you never know what will happen next.

XJOK2PLAY 02-08-2017 06:18 AM

Cobia,
Thanks for having the courage to tell us.
I've always felt like the gang here is part of my extended family, and that includes you, my friend.

Those Vetter lowers you sold me that time helped me so much, riding in the cold and rain at times. I've always enjoyed our chats together here, and have been missing you lately.

I have 3 kids of my own. I hear you, and can understand what your going through.

All I can possibly say, would be to think about the good times, the good stuff. His smile. The times together that made great memories together.

If you need an ear, someone to talk to, someone to just listen, or just somebody that cares and understands...I'm sure I speak for a lot of folks here who do. That includes me.

I'm praying for you. :)
Your friend,
Bob

Cobia 02-08-2017 07:08 AM

Thank you very much Bob.
That's why I posted here because I also feel like we are an extended family.

Radioguylogs 02-08-2017 11:01 AM

No words can express
 
Cobia:

I have the same tears when I read this news.

A problem shared is a problem cut in half.

Cobia 02-10-2017 11:58 PM

I appreciate ur good sentiments and intentions.
 
I would agree with you for 99% of situations, but it doesn't apply at all to an 18 y/o son who considers you his best friend, and tells you so 2 weeks before he dies. There are no words...
We rode twice a week, however short the ride.

Hint:
The absence of a word for this in English or Spanish speaks volumes about it...
When you lose a spouse your're a widow(er), when you lose a parent you're an orphan, when you lose an offspring you're a ..... there is no word to describe it. It's with you forever.

I don't want to be a downer, that's why I didn't post this for almost 6 months after the fact... and then his 19th b-day came on 1-20... geezzz.

donebysunday 02-11-2017 06:42 AM

time
 
Took some time for me to post.
He will always be with you.
You ride together and remember what he would wish for you.

XJOK2PLAY 02-11-2017 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cobia (Post 494730)
All I can tell you is to love your kids with all your heart every moment you can because you never know what will happen next.

So very true.

My grandfather and my dad weren't the type of men to say the words "I love you, Son" very often.

Then, towards the end, I watched them change 180, and we told each other that we loved the other all the time. Glad it happened, but wish it had always been like that. But that's what I now cherish the most when I remember our time we had.

I have 3 grown kids, 2 boys and a girl. I decided at their births, to never fail to let them know how much 'ole dad loves them. I realized how vital that is.

Nothing makes my day more than getting a call from my eldest son, (31) and hear him say, "Dad, we're bored. Do you mind if we come over?" Knowing he and his wife and kids choose to hang with me over friends, or anything. Remarkable, to me.

Or, "Love you, Daddy" from my middle boy, (28), or my daughter (25). I treasure those times.

I'm glad to hear you say you and your Son were "best friends", too. Awesome, and that's the best reward a parent probably gets. Cool you had that, Cobia. :)
My deepest condolences.
Bob

mack 02-14-2017 03:30 PM

Grief
 
There are no words to describe what your going through. no words can express our heart felt sympathy. These will seem hollow but please accept our condolences. I will light a candle for your son then another for you. Gather as a family and grieve together, while seemingly unbearable, together you can share the burden!

Brent 02-16-2017 08:43 AM

deepest condolences
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cobia (Post 494730)
All I can tell you is to love your kids with all your heart every moment you can because you never know what will happen next.

Cobia, my deepest sympathy to you. I can only imagine in part how it is for you. The XSives are much like an extended family. Thanks for reaching out and offering the above advice. I have seen some people who suffered the loss of a son who did survive.

In my ignorance, I will offer some well meaning and caring advice:
1. Eat when you need too- Especially when you do not feel like it.

2. Do not ride when you are crying. It is hard to see, focus, and the tears may stain your helmet liner.

3. Ride without worry too much about getting lost when riding. Since you are in FL, you will not go tooo far before coming to the water, or GA...in which case call me (770)982-4715

Brent
PS general directions for you to my house; Pass a swamp, a big lake, another swamp, some flat lands and a few hills. I live in the peidmont near a big granite rock. If you get to mountains, you have passed me,.

Take care,
brent

jwhughes3 02-23-2017 11:13 AM

Cobia,

My deepest condolences for you brother - prayers for you and your family that your heart is healed by time and fond memories.

Peace to all of you.

John

Cobia 03-10-2017 10:59 PM

My heart felt thanks
 
I want to extend my sincerest thanks to all of you who took the time to write the kind words that you did. It means a lot.
Thank you Brent, Bob, John, Mac, and Mike.
I've ridden once with BikerPhil since Sept 5th, 2016, because I've been afraid to lose focus while riding when I think of him.
But that's something I need to get over so I expect to do some riding this weekend. I missed the Key West / Tallahassee rally because I threw out my back out on the eve of departure so I couldn't go.... Damn :mad:
Anyway, thanks all, I love you.

XJOK2PLAY 03-11-2017 08:43 AM

Cobia,
You're "family", bro.
You hurt, we hurt. That's how it is.
Sorry to hear about your back. I can relate...:rolleyes:

Heal fast, and hope you get to log some good miles and make some good memories this summer!
Ride safe, and like Brent always says, "Ride when you can!" :)
Bob

3Phase 03-11-2017 11:42 AM

Cobia, I am so sorry for your loss.

I honestly can't even imagine losing a child; don't have the words except for prayers. :(


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